Two Daves Pick The SEC

Two Daves Pick The SEC

September 26, 2009

 Welcome to Two Daves Pick the SEC!  Where has time gone?  In the blink of an eye, its the last weekend in September.  If you haven’t seen our blog, there’s an unbelievable story from the Atlanta Journal Constitution about UGA fans trashing the campus and much worse.  It makes Baton Rouge look like the white house.  Check it out at http://www.2daves.org

 Doug says:

Well, the beat goes on, and I can’t believe we’re up to week four.  This is make-or-break week for a lot of teams in the conference.  There are so many unanswered questions that will become clearer after this week.  Is Ole Miss for real?  Can Georgia’s defense show up?  What about Mississippi State’s defense?  If Rice and Vanderbilt play in Houston will anyone show up to watch them?

Ole Miss at South Carolina

Dave says:

Ole Miss goes on the road for their first conference game of the year.  South Carolina lost to Georgia in their conference opener (when the UGA campus was trashed).  This promises to be a good game to watch.  Ole Miss has a solid offense, and South Carolina has a solid defense, featuring monster LB Eric Norwood.  Ole Miss’ Jevan Snead will test the AKC  secondary early and often.  I think this game will come down to Ole Miss’ ability to protect Snead, particularly from Norwood.  If Snead has time, he can get the ball to Dexter McCluster, an uber fast receiver.  If Norwood starts chasing Snead around, this will favor USC.  Da Spur is something like 5-2 on Thursday night games at USC, but I also believe both losses came at home.   In a close one……

Ole Miss 24 – USC 21

Doug says:

I’m perplexed.  Picking the number four team in the country to win is generally a safe choice, but we know exactly nothing about Ole Miss right now.  They’ve played nobody, and they’ve been largely unimpressive, despite two wins by a combined total of 97-20.  On the other hand, South Carolina is battle-tested, having played tough games against NC State and Georgia.  Ole Miss is the better team, I think, but they’d better be on upset alert.

South Carolina at home:  +10 USC

Mississippi’s first real opponent:  +8 USC

Snead vs. Garcia:  +12 OM

Nutt vs. Spurrier:  +7 USC

McCluster vs. SC Defense:  +14 OM

Confederates 24 – Cocks 23

 

LSU at Mississippi State

Dave says:

LSU normally skulldrags Mississippi State, winning by an average of 29 points per game in their nine win streak.  After being jacked for 600 yards by Auburn, State held Vanderbilt to under 200 yards of offense.  I’m not convinced that Carl Torbush’s defense made that much improvement, Vanderbilt looked terrible.  LSU fans probably feel better about their team since Washington knocked off USC last weekend, a place LSU won at to start the season.  So what to expect this year?  An LSU win, of course.  I think Mullen keeps it respectable though.

 LSU 28 – Mithippi State 17

 Doug says:

 The coonasses have already begun their descent on Starkville.  State fans are generally happy right now after the win at Vanderbilt, and rightfully so.  But how good is the defense, really?  I don’t think they’ll be Vandy-good against LSU, but I don’t think they’ll be Auburn-bad, either.  Auburn-bad will return against Georgia Tech and Houston, I’m afraid.  MSU will stay close for awhile, but they don’t have the horses to hang with the Tigaahs for 60 minutes.

MSU at home:  +10 MSU

10,000 traveling coonasses:  +20 LSU

Muddy track:  +5 MSU

Lester Miles:  +5 MSU

MSU Defense:  +14 LSU

Corndogs 31 – Burdawgs 17

 

 

Arkansas at Alabama

Dave says:

Arkansas put up some great numbers on offense against Georgia in a losing effort last weekend.  Neither Georgia nor Arkansas appear to play defense.  This game will come down to Arkansas defense against Alabama’s offense.  I’m confident that Alabama will slow Petrino’s offense down, so how well Greg McElroy, Julio Jones, Mark Ingram and company perform decides this one.

 Tide 31 – Sausage 21

 Doug says:

 The Hogs are very stout on the offensive side of the ball, but we knew Petrino would have them that way at some point.  Unfortunately for them, their defense still has scorch marks on them from the Georgia game last week.  I do think this is a good match-up for Arkansas…to keep the score respectable.  Bama has an outstanding defense, so it will be fun to see if Mallet can conquer Mount Cody. 

Alabama at home:  +20 Bama

Petrino offensive explosion:  +40 Ark

Alabama defense:  +12 Bama

Arkansas defense:  +14 Bama

“Sweet Home Alabama” vs. “Dueling Banjos”:  +2 Bama

Gov. George Wallace 28 – Gov. Bill Clinton 20

 

Florida at Kentucky

Dave says:

Monte Kiffin showed the nation why he is one of the best paid assistants in the nation when Tennessee slowed down the mighty  Florida offense. Kentucky had a thrilling come from behind win over Louisville last week.  Kentucky might catch Florida a little flat after last week’s slugfest.  Tebow will slap everyone in the head and Florida will pull away in the second half.

Florida 34 – UK 13

Doug says:

Rich Brooks has a scowl that is truly funny to watch.  He’s like the old man down the street who used to yell at you when you went into his yard to get your ball.  He never looks happy; there are only degrees of pissed-offedness.  I suspect every degree will be achieved as the Cats host a Florida team that is probably unhappy with their performance last week. 

Kentucky at home:  +10 UK

Apathetic crowd:  Push

Angry Rich Brooks:  +10 UK

Angry Urban Meyer:  +14 UF

Angry Tim Tebow:  +40 UF

Gators 48 – Gator Bait 14

 

 

Arizona State at Georgia

Dave says:

Last week its Howard Schnellenberger, this week its Dennis Erickson.  The U has-beens are everywhere.  Erickson brings an undefeated Sun Devil team in to face Georgia, who can score a lot of points, and give up a lot too.  Since Georgia crushed Arizona State last year in Tempe, I expect them to do almost as well this weekend, if something resembling a defense shows up.

We defecate on our campus 31 – Ewwwwww 21

Doug says:

The SEC gets an opportunity to further fatten their non-conference record here against a quality opponent.  If the defense can keep the Sun Devils under 35, the dawgs should win.  When your team is called the Sun Devils and you’re playing a team whose head coach is on the God Squad, you can’t like your chances.

Georgia between the hedges:  +20 UGA

Cross-country opponent:  +5 UGA

From the PAC-10:  +5 UGA

Georgia matador defense:  +10 ASU

Tasteless tailgaters bonus:  +10 ASU

Saint Richt 38 – Heathens 28

 

 

Ball State at Auburn

Dave says:

BITCHSLAP OF THE WEAK!  Auburn is going to beat Ball State so bad, David Letterman’s head will hurt for a week.  This is Bobby Brown vs. Whitney Houston.  Oh the humanity!

Auburn 56 – Ball State 10

Doug says:

Auburn gets a well-deserved break this week after an impressive start to the season.  Questioning whether they’re for real can be saved for another week, when they’re playing a competitive opponent.  This one will be over early.

Auburn at home:  +20 AU

With Malzahn’s offense:  +10 AU

And Onterrio McCalebb:  +10 AU

And Chris Todd:  +8 BSU

Chizik “Coach Of The Year” bonus:  +9 AU

War Tigers 51 – Roadkill 10

 

 

Ohio at Tennessee

Dave says:

Tennessee established the run against Florida even though the Vols provided no threat from the passing game.  Volunteer fans will suffer much like Mississippi State did under the Mike Henig / Sylvester Croom era – no passing game, a decent running game and a good defense that wears down because the offense can’t stay on the field.

Tennessee 34 – Ohio 6

Doug says:

My Tennessee buddy tells me that he’s happy with the outcome of the Florida-UT game, and thought it was a best-case scenario for the Vols.  Me, I thought Kiffin played for the moral victory and was lucky enough to keep the score moderately close.  I know Crompton sucks, but players like Eric Berry deserve better than that.  They’ll get the win this week, and Berry will do a little Bobcat hunting in the process.

Tennessee Home Field Advantage:  +20 UT

Berry Advantage:  +15 UT

Crompton Advantage:  +20 Ohio

Hardesty Bonus:  +5 UT

“Rocky Top” Annoyance Factor:  +14 UT

Scared of Crompton 41 – Scared of Berry 7

 

 

Vanderbilt at Rice

Dave says:

Vanderbilt SUCKS!  How can you lose a home game where you are a 9 point favorite to a Mississippi State team that just gave up 600 yards in the previous week?  Mississippi State flat out dominated Vanderbilt, holding the ball for almost 40 minutes.  If it were not for the fact that Rice has no weapons on offense, I’d pick Rice to win.

Vandy 27 – Rice 13

Doug says:

These are the kinds of games Vanderbilt used to lose frequently.  I would love to say they’ve move past those days, but after their performance last week against MSU, it’s clear to me that these are the same old Commodores.  Lucky for them, Rice is terrible.  Even Vandy should be able to score 30 on them.  Okay, maybe I’m pushing it.

Superior conference bonus:  +20 Vandy

SEC defense:  +20 Vandy

No SEC offense:  +12 Rice

Vanderbilt on the road:  +10 Rice

Home field advantage:  Push

SEC Private School 28 – C-USA Private School 10

 

Last week:

Dave:  8-1

Doug:  8-1

Overall:

Dave:  24-3

Doug:  24-3

Two Daves Pick The SEC

September 19, 2009

Welcome to Two Daves Pick The SEC!  We’ve got a good mix of non-conference and conference games this week.  The highly anticipated Tennessee-Florida game is this weekend, and that game will get most of the headlines.  Will Ed Orgeron rip his shirt off at the Swamp?  Will Mississippi State give up 600 yards to Vanderbilt?   Make sure to watch the games on TV since the SEC has also cracked down on people putting highlights on youtube.  Thanks Mike Slive, you’re doing everything you can to alienate the very fans that built your empire.

Check our blog regularly at www.2daves.org for running features, news bits, and random exhibits of stupidity.  It’s rumored that Bubb Rubb will be making an appearance there soon, so stay tuned.

Doug says:

Week three is already upon us.  Holy cow, where does the time go?

Most weeks, the SEC proves to be the most dominant conference in the land.  Every once in a while, however, a team manages to embarrass not only themselves, but the entire conference.  Tennessee, you are that team this week.  Sure, UCLA is improving, but there’s no way you should lose that game at home.  There’s no acceptable excuse.  When Vol Nation lies in bed awake each night, wondering why the rest of the conference can’t stand them, this is exhibit A.  It’s also the reason 95% of the conference hopes Florida puts up 70 on you this weekend.  Nobody expects Vanderbilt, Kentucky, Ole Miss, or Mississippi State to be a powerhouse every year, but when you have the facilities and money that Tennessee has, you need to pull your weight in the conference instead of embarrassing it.

Louisville @ Kentucky

Dave says:

The bluegrass in-state rivalry features two undefeated teams; both are 1-0.  This game should be a cakewalk for Kentucky, but rivalry games always offer the best chance of the upset.  UK QB Mike Hartline looked good in the season opener while the Wildcat D pitched a shutout.  This won’t be a shutout, but Kentucky should win this game easily.

Pitino was here 24  Pitino is here 13

Doug says:

This annual civil war would mean more to the state if it were being played in Rupp Arena.  I expect a close, hard-fought game, but UK should come out on top, provided Rich Brooks doesn’t do something stupid, like get a technical foul down the stretch.  What does the calculator say?

Kentucky home game:  +20 Kentucky

In front of apathetic fans:  +20 Louisville

Louisville’s sleazy baskeball coach:  +10 Kentucky

Kentucky’s sleazy basketball coach:  +10 Louisville

Kragthorpe sucks bonus:  +5 Kentucky

John Calipari 21 – Rick Pitino 16

North Texas @ Alabama

Dave says:

Undefeated Alabama faces the mighty North Texas greenies.  This game will be the bitchslap of the week; North Texas is terrible.  How bad?  UNT coach Todd Dodge is 4-22 as head coach.  Alabama’s offense is improving and the defense is very good.   They should pitch a shutout, but you never know.

Alabama 42  North Texas 3

Doug says:

Be honest:  how many of you were surprised when you saw Alabama trailing Florida International in the second quarter last week?  I bet they come out a little more focused this week and do the job right.  The calculator confirms:

Alabama home game:  +25 Alabama

Against someone named the Mean Green:  +20 Alabama

Fired up Saban:  +10 Alabama

Conservative playcalling:  +10 N. Texas

Fourth quarter scrubs:  +4 N. Texas

Crimson 48 – Green 7

Tennessee @ Florida

Dave says:

I seriously doubt Urban Meyer has said one word to his team about Lane Kiffin’s false accusations that Meyer committed recruiting violations earlier this year.  He doesn’t need to; his players heard the same thing and the time has come for them to extract a pound of flesh from Kiffin’s ass.  Tennessee’s players are going to do their best to support their coach, they heard the same thing as well and know what is coming.  The fact is, Florida’s staff will coach circles around Tennessee’s own version of Sylvester Croom.   If UNT wasn’t such a terrible team, this would be the bitchslap of the week.

Florida 54  Tennessee 13

Doug says:

DING-DING-DING.  Early and often.  Early and often.  UT could come out and make this one interesting, sure.  Stranger things have happened.  That would be pretty danged strange, though.  The numbers don’t lie:

Florida home game:  +20 Florida

Against UT:  +10 Florida

With bulletin board material:  +10 Florida

And Tim Tebow:  +12 Florida

And whoever gets the start at QB for UT:  +6 Florida

Fired up Gators 65 – Kiffin will keep his mouth shut next time 7

Louisiana-Lafayette @ LSU

Dave says:

This is another in-state game featuring undefeated teams that are 2-0.  Louisiana Lafayette has never beaten LSU, and they should not this weekend.  Due to LSU’s subpar performances so far this season, I can’t rule out the upset.  This will be closer than Tiger fans would like.  After all, LSU bitchslapped them 45-0 in their last meeting in 2006.

LSU 27  U LA LA 14

Doug says:

The Fighting Tigers get a bit of a breather this week, and they deserve it.  I suspect they’ll get out in front early, and then coast to the finish line.  Let’s look at the numbers:

LSU at home:  +25 LSU

At night:  +15 LSU

Visitors are coonasses too:  Push

Unpredictable Lester:  Push

Fourth quarter scrubs:  +5 UL-Lafayette

Big Coonasses 38 – Little Coonasses 3

Mississippi State @ Vanderbilt

Dave says:

The Hunchback of Starkville takes his team to Nashville to face Vanderbilt.  Vandy is a pretty good team, and State is a pretty bad team.  People in starkvegas are already calling for DC Carl Torbush to be fired.  Come on, he’s not that bad, he only gave up 600 yards of offense and 45 points to Auburn.  To put that in perspective, Sylvester Croom won at Auburn two years ago, and only gave up three to Auburn last year.  Auburn put up more points and yards against Torbush than they did against Croom  for three years.  Yeah, I’d say Torbush needs to go too.  Meanwhile, Bobby Johnson continues to do a fantastic job with the commodores.  No doubt that Bubb is pulling for his dores.

Vanderbilt 24  Urban, can I have my job back?  17

Doug says:

State’s defense looked really bad against Auburn.  I predict that they will look much better against Vanderbilt’s anemic defense, and they will look moderately decent against LSU’s conservative offense next week, giving Bulldog fans hope.  Then they’ll get torched by Georgia Tech and Houston, leading to the eventual departure of Carl Torbush.  As for Vanderbilt, they are a big favorite in this game, and this is unfamiliar territory for them.  How will they handle it?  I don’t know.  I need help from the calculator:

Vanderbilt at home:  +20 Vandy

As big favorites:  +15 State

State’s defense:  +10 Vanderbilt

Vandy’s offense:  +10 State

State QB bonus:  +5 Vandy

We Don’t Make D’s 24 – We Don’t Play D 14

Florida Atlantic at South Carolina

Dave says:

Howard Schnellenberger is still alive?  Hell, he’s coaching FAU.  South Carolina looks to get back on track after a tough loss at Georgia.  Guess what?  They will.

AKC 31  FAU 13

Doug says:

Much like LSU, South Carolina gets a much-deserved breather this week, and they need it to get more consistent.  They played well last week but came up short against Georgia.  This week they will make a statement.  No matter what happens, Howard Schnellenberger will be on the sidelines for FAU, reeking of Macanudos, Scotch, and Aqua Velva.  He will be the manliest man on the field.

South Carolina at home:  +20 USC

Against a team named after an ocean:  +10 USC

With a frustrated Spurrier:  +10 USC

And a humbled defense:  +8 USC

SCHNELLENBERGER:  +15 Fla Atlantic

Cackolackey 42 – Roadkill 9

SE Louisiana @ Ole Miss

Dave says:

Another game featuring undefeated teams.  Ole Miss struggled for most of their game against Memphis, then lost to the Flu last week.  Slow Learners University has been potent on offense putting up over 500 yards a game and they haven’t even played Mississippi State.  This one may be close at the half, but Ole Miss should crack it open in the second half.

 Ole Miss 45  SLU 20

 Doug says:

 Ole Miss is having a dream season so far.  They played like complete crap and still beat Memphis by a ton.  Then they get wiped out by the flu but were fortunate enough for it to happen during the bye week.  Oh, and they move up three spots in the polls while this is going on.  And now, they get to beat a lower-division team by sixty and further impress the masses.  Enjoy it while it lasts, Rebs.

 Ole Miss at home:  +15 Miss

Against SELA:  +30 Miss

Getting Snead back on track:  +15 SELA

McCluster in the wildcat:  +20 Miss

More fans in the grove than in the stadium:  +5 SELA

 Confederates 52 – Directional Louisiana 7

 Georgia @ Arkansas

Dave says:

Erin Andrews will be doing the sideline reporting at this game, so nobody really gives a damn about the game itself.  In our endless pursuit of professional journalism, we will talk about the game.  A.J. green looks to build on his strong game last week.  He’ll probably pass Erin on the sideline and say, “Hey baby, I got your sideline report right here.”  Bobby Petrino will probably give Erin an interview on the field at the half, and he’ll give her that “I’ve seen you nekkid” look.  Then Joe Cox will –  nevermind, this won’t end well.

 Georgia 31  Arkansas 27

 Doug says:

 I have concerns about Georgia’s defense.  For that reason, I think they’re going to need to score some points to beat Arkansas.  Luckily for them, Arkansas is defensively-challenged as well.  Let’s turn to the trusty calculator:

 Arkansas at home:  +10 Ark

In Fayetteville:  +5 Ark

Georgia defense:  +3 Arkansas

Arkansas defense:  +15 Georgia

UGA something to prove bonus:  +10 Georgia

 Augusta National 27 – Wal Mart 20

 West Virginia @ Auburn

 Dave says:

 The West Virginia Mountaineers are so thankful that Rich Rodriguez and his 90 hours of practice a week is gone.  Auburn played a near-perfect game against Mississippi State; however, that may not be a good barometer of how good Auburn really is.  Mississippi State sucks.  Auburn executed plays very well last week, and I think they’ll be up to the task this weekend.  Halfway to bowl eligibility!

Auburn 31  WVU 26

Doug says:

Here’s a chance for Auburn to show us if they’re for real.  They looked like it last week, but then again, they were playing Mississippi State.  This should be an entertaining game.

Auburn at home:  +10 AU

With offensive momentum:  +10 AU

Gave up 20 points to Liberty:  +10 AU

Rolling Toomer’s Corner:  +5 AU

Burning Couches +25 WVU

The Barn 30 – The Still 20

Last week:

Dave:  5-1

Doug:  5-1

(Thanks Tennessee)

Overall:

Dave:  16-2

Doug:  16-2